Man to daughter months after wife’s death: “If you don’t want to be in the same room as my GF, you can maybe move out.”

Aabha Gopan
3 min readMar 23, 2023
Photo by Brett Sayles

I have been amazed at how people grieve and recover differently. While some mop and show their distress outside, others hold it all in and pretend they’re doing fine. There are people who recover from the deaths of close ones in months, while others take years for the same. To me, it all depends on the person.

As someone who accepts reality fast and moves on quickly, I understand the need to give others time to recover. Unfortunately, the author of this Reddit post didn’t seem to get that and ruined his relationship with his daughter.

Should a father ever do this?

The author has been dating his girlfriend, Alexis (28), for a year. They met online a few months after his late wife passed away. He did not inform his daughter, Ana (20), about the relationship until he considered it serious after six months.

When he finally told Ana, she appeared taken aback. He assured her that Alexis was not a replacement for her mother and that she did not need to meet her until she was ready. However, Alexis had financial troubles and needed a place to stay. The author agreed to let her stay with them temporarily.

Unfortunately, Ana did not react well and accused Alexis of being a gold digger. He was angry at her accusations and explained that he could not let Alexis become homeless.

“If you don’t want to be in the same room as my GF, you can maybe move out,” he told his daughter.

Following that, Ana moved out and informed her grandparents about the situation. She explained that the author was disrespecting her dead mother by allowing another woman to move in within a year of her death. The author apologized to Ana for any hurt feelings, but she refused to listen.

Does he realize what he did?

The author admits that he recognizes he may have broken his promise to Ana about not having to meet Alexis until she was ready and wonders whether that was why she left. He is trying to determine if he was wrong in allowing Alexis to stay with them temporarily and if his actions caused their strained relationship.

What do Redditors think?

Redditors have sided with Ana, saying the author moved on too quickly by inviting Alexis over to their house. Some even deduced that the author was having an affair with Alexis before his wife died based on the timeline.

Was he wrong?

I think he should have waited a bit longer for Ana to recover from her mother’s death before asking his girlfriend to move in. If he had been adamant about helping her, he could have offered her another housing solution or helped pay rent. From the post, I got to know that Alexis is actually 28 years old, which means she is a “grown mature woman” who has friends and a job. She can always ask to stay with her friend for a while or find a solution herself.

What do you think? Share your thoughts below.