Man complains about ‘huge power imbalance’ if girlfriend buys a house

Aabha Gopan
2 min readJul 29, 2022

Does one have the upper hand in a relationship if they possess more assets?

Photo by Kindel Media

A property deed is a vital document that lists the owners of a particular property. Based on the deed, the owners might get the right to control, drive income, possess, and do more with the property.

So one has to think twice before mentioning a name in a property deed.

This topic was highlighted in a recent Reddit post about a woman whose boyfriend thinks there will be a ‘huge power imbalance’ if she buys a house. He said she either had to include his name in the house title or wait till they marry.

How is one more powerful in a relationship?

The author starts the post by saying that her boyfriend Adam and she have been together for two and a half years. She says he is a shy guy, and getting him to open up about something is challenging. She also explains that he has a disability due to which his job opportunities are less, so she earns more now.

Although they get along well, the author’s boyfriend can be a bit unreasonable sometimes. He doesn’t cook for her because he worries whether she will like it. She has seen him cook for himself and knows he does it well. Another example is that he doesn’t do any chores or cleaning as he is afraid he will damage things.

Having said that, the author has been saving money to buy an apartment since 2015, and she can finally afford one now. But her boyfriend feels terrible that he doesn’t have enough to contribute to it. So he asked her to either include his name in the house title or not buy the house till marriage to make it a ‘shared marital asset.’ The author refused both options and asked him to drop the subject.

But he brought it up when the couple visited his parents. He said if she bought the apartment, there would be a ‘huge power imbalance,’ and he would feel like he didn’t make any contributions. Then, the author snapped and said he should find a job and have a decent income.

Making less money than one’s female partner

The author’s boyfriend and his family looked shocked. Her boyfriend distanced himself, saying he needed space. Meanwhile, his mother berated the author for what she said.

Now the author wonders whether what she said was wrong.

What do you think? Should the author have responded kindly? Share your thoughts below.