Member-only story
I know someone who attempted suicide.
He has a weird reason.
I’m scared. Amazed, but scared.
This 17-year-old boy tried to take his life. He is fidgeting his legs while staring at his laptop, and my eyes ache from watching him without blinking.
The voice in my head thinks he’s insane. Who would go through with something so painful?
When my mother first called to tell me the news that my little brother tried to take his life, I wondered why. He is a good student, passed all his exams with impressive grades, and most importantly, he is loved. Why would he want to end his beautiful life?
“My life isn’t beautiful. It’s empty — without any purpose. People need a reason to live,” he replied, briefly acknowledging me before diving back into whatever he was doing.
“I can give you a thousand reasons to live,” I countered boldly. Before I could even list the first one, he said, “None of them are good enough,” and he walked away like the conversation didn’t matter.
I realized then and there that that wasn’t my battle to fight. He was looking for his purpose.
There was once a 14-year-old girl who was insecure, full of self-doubt, and naive. She tried to suffocate herself with a pillow because she didn’t want to live. Her grades were perfect, she had supportive friends and a loving family—yet, she didn’t like her life.
I understand the feeling. You can’t quite explain it.
But one day, she found her purpose — on her own.
That girl was me.
Have you ever struggled to find a reason to live despite having a good life? Let’s talk about it. I would love to know more.
