“I don’t see why I should have to pay for her stuff” Man refuses to spend money on wife because she doesn’t work

Aabha Gopan
2 min readSep 1, 2022


Should a person spend money on their unemployed partner?

Photo by Mikhail Nilov

Managing money is a major issue in a marriage when people involved have different views. The couple should decide whether they want to maintain separate accounts and contribute equally to the household or join the income and handle it as one.

This topic was highlighted in a recent Reddit post in which a man refuses to spend on his wife because she is a stay-at-home mother.

Man doesn’t want to pay for my wife’s hobbies and leisure activities

The author starts the post by saying that he and his wife worked full-time, low-paying jobs till their daughter was born. Although his wife returned to work out of necessity after three months, she had poor mental health. She also had a minor disability, which became harder to handle after the delivery.

His wife’s only family, her grandmother, who raised her, passed away when their daughter was six months old and left a huge amount as an inheritance. They bought a house and two cars (one for each) and saved a little for retirement.

Shortly after the grandmother’s death, his wife quit working and became a stay-at-home mother. She did so because her job wasn’t great, and she preferred to be a stay-at-home mother.

However, the author also wanted to be a stay-at-home dad, but he couldn’t quit because they still needed money for their livelihood.

Having said that, recently, the author’s wife spoke to him about budgeting his income so they can live without money issues.

He expressed that he didn’t want to spend on her hobbies and leisure activities as she was not working. He felt she should buy clothes at the charity shop and get her hair cut by a friend because she doesn’t earn.

He further explained, “I don’t see why I should have to pay for her stuff like sewing materials and gym membership,” as he doesn’t benefit from them. He added that he works 36 hours weekly and pays for bills and his daughter’s things.

Then his wife pointed out that the author spent money on his hobbies and leisure activities. She told him that her inheritance was huge, and that was her contribution.

Now the author wonders whether he was wrong for not wanting to spend on his wife after her inheritance helped them settle financially.

What do you think? Share your thoughts below.



Aabha Gopan

Loving human minds while changing my toddler's diaper.