Husband demands paternity test from pregnant wife: “I don’t want to be a doormat stuck raising a cuckoo’s egg”

Aabha Gopan
3 min readMar 21, 2023
Photo by Afif Ramdhasuma

I believe the foundations of a relationship are trust, respect, and love. When one of these stops existing between a couple, they will be unhappy, which could eventually lead to the relationship ending.

Last night, I was reading some Reddit posts when I came across a particularly interesting one. I’ll call the author Jane and her husband, Mike.

“I don’t want to be a doormat stuck raising a cuckoo’s egg”

Jane has been with Mike for six years and married for three. They met in college and are now in their early thirties. Their relationship is smooth except for one thing — they weren’t compatible in bed. Jane always felt unsatisfied, but her husband was vanilla and refused to try anything new. She gave up trying to talk about it because he would get upset and pout for days.

Then they decided to have a baby, and after trying for almost a year, Jane conceived and is four months pregnant now. But their happiness didn’t last for long. A few days back, out of the blue, Mike asked her for a paternity test.

At first, she thought he was joking, but he was serious. He said he just wanted to make sure the baby was his, but denied suspecting her of cheating. She pointed out that she spent every free moment with him and worked full-time, so she wouldn’t even have the time to cheat. But he got angry and said he had a right to know for certain because “I don’t want to be a doormat stuck raising a cuckoo’s egg.”

In their country, both parents have to consent to a paternity test, or it would have to be court-ordered. Jane refused to consent and told Mike that if he filed a petition to the court against her will, she would file for divorce. He accused her of having something to hide, and she snapped at him, saying that after six years of patience and loyalty, despite his lack of skill in bed, he was the one who disappointed her. Mike started crying, and Jane left for her parents’ house.

She felt like her whole world had collapsed. Her mother tried to mediate and told her that Mike was hurt by her comment and wanted an apology. Jane knew she had spoken out of spite, but she also felt justified in expressing her disappointment. She didn’t want to go back and coddle Mike’s insecurities anymore. She would rather be a single mother than stay in a relationship where her needs were neglected.

What do other Redditors think?

Most Redditors have deduced the same. They think the author’s husband is actually cheating and is projecting that on her.

“The insecurity inside him is destroying his relationship,” one commented, while another added, “If all trust is gone, then the relationship is dead anyway.”

Meanwhile, I agree that the husband doesn’t trust the author here and that itself could ruin the relationship. Even if they were to work it out, they would have to attend marriage counseling. He would also have to take up therapy for his insecurities.

What do you think? Share your thoughts below.