Dear Parents, Please Forgive Your Teenagers.

I’m glad my parents forgave me for the blunders I made as a teenager. And here is why you should pardon your teenagers like my folks.

Aabha Gopan


Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

You might be reading this after a heated shouting match with your 17-something daughter about her wayward, drug-addict boyfriend or your son of 15 years for bullying a gay kid for wearing a flowery, radiant shirt.

While it may seem impossible to live with your teenager for another day or forgive them for the heart-shattering words they threw at you, you must forgive them because that is the only thing they will remember after years.

Your children will know you exercised patience and showed kindness even when they didn’t deserve it. That’s a lesson they’ll remember forever.

I was a spoilt teenager in the latter half of the 2000s, and though I managed not to try drugs or fall pregnant, I did other things that my parents found hard to accept.

Somewhere in 7th grade, I got addicted to the idea of ‘damsel in distress’ and fostered the notion that my parents favored my little brother over me. Being four years younger, he was irritatingly more optimistic and friendly than my teenage self, which could have been the root of my insecurity.

I was so sure I wasn’t loved at home that I did everything possible to expose it. I spoke to my teacher, but she dismissed my theory, clearly seeing through my pity act.

My school counselor was more understanding and reasoned that my younger brother needed more attention and guidance than me. But she wasn’t sympathetic either. In fact, I remember her taking my parents’ side.

Due to that ‘partiality’ notion, I fought tooth and nail with my parents every day.

I mindlessly claimed he was favored when they showed him the littlest appreciation. I turned the house upside down whenever my brother was allowed to sleep between my parents. I even felt indescribable jealousy when he came to the top of the class, and I didn’t.